The Major Meltdown

This week there was an interesting meltdown with Carter. Carter and his younger sister Reagan were playing with a big plastic ball in the house and of course, the very worst happens. He threw the ball up; it hit a picture hanging on the wall and ended up bringing the whole thing crashing down. Carter’s immediate reaction? Not to say it wasn’t his fault, or to blame his sister. It was, in fact, to go into immediate meltdown mode- against himself.

After yelling and screaming for twenty minutes about how he was bad, should have known better and should be punished, he finally calmed down. After a long talk with him mom and dad about how accidents happen and it’s okay, life was okay again.

This was not the most epic of meltdowns for Carter. Sometimes however, they seem to come up out of the blue for the silliest things.

http://www.aspergersphere.com/2012/02/steps-to-managing-aspergers-meltdowns/ Recommends a couple different tactics that you could use to help calm a meltdown:

1. Control your own response.  The most important step you can take when your child is experiencing emotional difficulties is to maintain self-control.  Your ability to remain calm, patient, and kind during a meltdown is critical in defusing the situation – and it allows you to model self-control for your child, ultimately helping him to develop his own self-control skills.

2. Keep everyone safe.  If your child’s meltdown is compromising his safety or the safety of others, remove him from the place or situation and take other steps as needed to ensure safety and control.

3. Respond to your child (not the behavior).  Communicate to your child, verbally and nonverbally, that you are there for him.  Some children respond well to being held and comforted during a meltdown – others do not.  Do what works for your child. Don’t say anything about how the outburst is making you or others feel. Realize that there is nothing you can do to stop a rage cycle in progress – once it has started, your goal is simply to help your child regain his emotional equilibrium without feeling guilty, “bad”, or in any way diminished in your eyes or his own.

4. Keep your responses brief.  When your child is in the midst of a meltdown, words just become sensory static.  At that moment, your child’s ability to hear (let alone process) what you are saying is severely diminished.  You will get through to your child more effectively by keeping it short and to the point.  Try to keep your responses to five words or less – for example, say “We are leaving now” instead of giving a lengthy explanation about why your child’s behavior makes it necessary to leave.  Of course, be prepared to follow through immediately on everything you say.

5. Save any discussion for later.  Don’t try to discuss the meltdown, or provide coaching to your child, until he is in a calm, receptive mood.  This may be in half an hour, or perhaps even days later.  When you revisit the situation, help him come up with ways that he might handle the situation differently in the future, and reaffirm your love and support for him.

I wonder how well these would work in a meltdown situation.